ok, I know it's another book post this week. but this is the last sexual/spiritual book I packed for the summer so I won't be posting another book reaction until August. and I have thoughts on other subjects but I haven't figured out how to flesh them out yet. not that I'll ever really think things through before posting them. I'm pretty sure that's Elyse's style, not mine.
Anyway. Elyse, I will loan you this book. It's worth reading. I was a bit nervous because I read a different book by these two authors and while it wasn't bad, it just wasn't what I was looking for. This book is more what I want in a spirituality/sexuality book. so that's a good thing. The authors have a couple of points where they're a bit too product-of-the-sexual-revolutiony, but they do say some nice things.
a negative: I hate the typeface. Seriously. if I had found this book in a physical bookstore instead of online, I would not have bought it because of the choices of fonts. it's a typeface I associate with weak new-agey style spiritual writings. I found it desperately distracting. but I should write something substantive, no? an actual thought I had while reading?
They talk a bit about singledom, of obvious interest to me at this point in my life. They discuss it within the context of relationship diversity, meaning the different types of relationships people have. there are different types of singledom, never married, divorced, widowed, in a relationship, living alone, living in community, consecrated, unconsecrated, whatever. this I think is an important thing to think about, because I do definitely believe that all these states of being are equally valid. and all the states of being in relationship I didn't name, of course.
They do say this:
"In some instances, people are alone, not because they want to be, but because
they haven't found someone to love."
How depressing is that?! I read this and thought "ooooh that is sooooo not me." I have many people that I love. I have many people who love me. so then I was thinking, am I alone? I'm single. I'm not involved with anyone at the moment really. I don't live in community anymore. But alone to me implies loneliness, and that I am not. reference the many people loving me. but now I am sad because I'm thinking of all those people who are alone because they have no one to love and presumably no one to love them. Makes me want to do some volunteer work or something.
They also speak of sexual diversity as being more than just orientation, which I think is also good. Elyse and I came up with this theory that because of the way that spirituality and sexuality are a part of each other, people with different spiritualities have necessarily different sexualities. This is something I will write more about later, but Ferder and Heagle don't disagree, I think. but for now, por ejemplo, the way that I understand and express my sexuality is developed from my spirituality, my relationship with and understanding of God. so if I had a different spiritual life, my sexuality would be different, even though my orientation wouldn't change perhaps. so, acknowledgement that sexual diversity is more than just sexual orientation, good. even though they're not coming at it from the same angle as I am. same ending point.
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